2018, I am so happy to see you gone.

Yesterdays NYE celebrations.

Yesterdays NYE celebrations.

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So now 2019 is here. I would almost say: Finally! This year have been a tough one for me. I think it has been my loneliest year so far. Being in a place where I did not understand anything. I don’t even know why I have let myself be stomped on by people as I have. Its been hard but I have learned so much at the same time. I have learned that I need to stand up for myself, that I can and will say no. That I am good enough. I have given too much of myself and this year will be all about me. I don’t mean in an egoistic way, but I am not gonna bend over backwards for people that won’t even recognise what I'm are trying to do for them. I would like to think that I am an understanding person with patience that I don't even myself understand. But people have been using that against me. I thought I was helping but I have now realised that I have only hurt myself by doing that. This year and forward I will give my attention and love to the people that deserve it.

I am also gonna take care of my health. Go back to my diet and continue going to the gym. I will try new things, I will do things that make me happy. I will learn new things and focus on my personal growth. I will challenge myself and leave my comfort zone. I am not healed yet from what happen last year. I don’t trust people like I once did. Which is in one way sad, but maybe also good. Maybe I was so naive before and now I only have grown to be careful?

I have also lost my ambition. I tried so hard to keep it up whilst I had so many other things that were constantly keeping me down. I have been in a place I despise and I didn’t really have a place to call home for a whole year. I did not have any personal space and that wears you down. To feel unsafe in the place you are supposed to call "home".

For a whole year, I put my own life aside to go somewhere where I could not even be with the person I gave it all up for. Instead, I was staying somewhere unstable where I never knew what was going to happen next or who was even there. And I just let it be like that. But, should I just blame myself for what others did? I don’t know. I guess that is something I need to think about a long while before I'll understand it.

Anyway… This last months of this year have been very crazy, lots are happening at work and in my personal life at the same time I am trying to heal, but I have also made some very happy and bright memories. I am closer to my sisters that I have ever been. I have a realised that I have very very good friends. And I have moved back to the place I call home. I now walk down the streets of London smiling. This will be a year of hard work and a lot of effort. And I will do it all for me and the people I love and that truly and fully loves me back ❤️

Thank you 2018 for all the lessons you taught me, but I am so happy to see you gone.

My 2017

The year 2017 is over and I decided to do like everybody else: look back at my 2017. I was actually looking back thinking that I did not do anything really. So I decided to refresh my memory and had a look at all my photo's from this year, and I had forgotten a lot of things, per usual. 

Here is some pictures from my 2017:

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Vi decided that I wanted to learn something new. So I decided I wanted to learn how to animate. I decided to not get a new job straight after I finished my contract with Google and learn a new skill. Still very long to go though ;)

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Me and Luis took the bus to Manchester from London to see 'one night with the 'Notorious Conor McGregor'. We also got to meet Ariel Helwani, but I look so shit at that picture that I can't publish it anywhere, haha! The night was amazing, but it ended in disaster and Luis ended up in hospital. 

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Enjoyed our London, 

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Me and Cholo went to a Podcast meet up. We had a good time, but it was not really like we expected it to be. (I really wanna gossip, but I am not gonna! My mom raised me better than that, haha!)

We won a charity lottery and got to see Mumford and sons playing in a church with only 300 people invited. It was such a lovely night! 

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My family came to visit me in London. 

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My friend Josh was not able to attend Comic-Con and he gave me his ticket! So I had a great time with Sameet. I also made vlog about it! You can watch it here.

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I sailed for the first time (well, I held the wheel, haha) Luis was sick 5 hours out of 6! Poor thing! You can see my vlog about it here

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We took the decision to move from our beloved London to Spain and tried to make the best out of the time we had left in London. 

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Enjoying the sun in London. 

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We had our last dinner at our favourite restaurant. You can find out more about the restaurant here. This place is a MUST GO when you are in London.

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Our friend Miguel came over to London to surprise Luis!

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I had my farewell party with my people. I miss you all so much!

Me and Luis had our last day in Shoreditch before it was time to leave London. I miss our explorer days in London. 

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aaand we arrived! 

pool parties after pool parties! This is from our 'Welcome to Spain party'. Look at the amazing cakes they made for us! Fantastic!

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Spent so many days on the beach!

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I saw Ines and Fernando in los caños:)

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discovered lots of places around Cadiz.  

 

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Now I am here in Spain/Gibraltar and starting a new chapter in life.  And that was my 2017! But I am lying if I am saying that it was a good year, because emotionally it was not at all. And I truly hope that 2018 will be a better year! I hope you had a good year, but I hope your next one will be better. Lots of kisses <3